Wikipedia Page

I made a page for myself on Wikipedia
To let people know of my contributions to the Earth
But the gods of the do it yourself encyclopedia
Told me that the amount of my sources was dearth
(That’s another way to say insufficient. Aren't you impressed with my vocabulary skills?)
They gave me 3 days to find some more sources
But then I was trampled by a pack of angry horses
In the allotted time I couldn’t get my page completed
And the gods of Wikipedia had it speedily deleted

Oh Wikipedia
How could you do this to me?
Your strict policies have crushed my dream
Your rejection dealt a fatal blow to my self esteem
Oh Wikipedia
I will still continue to search you
But just know that what you did to me
Left a hole in my heart that you can’t undo

Institute

There’s a place right by the TSC
Where valiant youth are known to be
Whose teachers always wear a suit
That place is the Logan Institute

With ping-pong, vending machines, and pool
The institute is a nice break from school
Come sit and learn from inspired men
Who end their lessons with a firm amen

If you’re interested in a holy pursuit
Come to the place with high repute
If I were you I’d find the fastest route
To the super righteous awesome Institute.

Minus Lee

I am in a band called Minus Lee. This is a graphic for the band:

We wrote this song and performed it at our ward talent show.

The Sweater Vest Song

Birthday Data

My birthday has come and gone
I have gathered some data about it
I would like to present that data at this time

16 people wished me some form of “Happy Birthday” on Facebook
1 person wished me “Happy Birthday” a day before my birthday on Facebook
2 people used the telephone as their method
2 people text messaged me “Happy Birthday”
1 person text messaged me about a “Dirtcake”
1 card reader in the computer lab wished me “Happy Birthday”
8 people wished me “Happy Birthday” in person

The total number of people who wished me some form of “Happy Birthday”
Can’t really be determined by this data because
Some people used multiple methods
What can be determined is that technology is the preferred method of birthday communication

The Plight of Gwendolyn

I made this movie for a film contest that my living area was doing. It took second place because it wasn't scary enough to beat Tom.

Blood Blister

I have a blood blister on the tip of my index finger
I don’t know how I got it
I just woke up and it was there
I discovered it by picking my nose
I had a booger up in there and it tried to get it with my index finger
I thought that it was just a bloody booger and that it was stuck to my finger
I tried to pick it off but I realized that it was not a booger
It was a blood blister
I stabbed it with a push tack
Blood started coming out
It was mixed in with oil so it looked really shiny
The blood just kept squeezing out so I finally put a bandaid on it
When I took the bandaid off it just looked like a normal blister
It feels really weird to type with a blister on your index finger
Every time I type the letters “j, h, n, m, y, & u” it feels funny

Sweater Vest

Sweater vest
You are the best
You keep my arms cool
While warming my chest

Merry Christmas

I made this for you : http://megaswf.com/view/c76cf25ab2ce69cd61cacc62153f2513.html

Infiltrating A Fashion Design Firm

It has always been my dream
To sneak into a fashion design firm
And change all their designs for the new spring line
Into some crazy outfits
So if you ever see people
Wearing clothing made out of tuna cans
Or hats made out of spare washing machine parts
You will know that I accomplished my goal

Web Comic

I have been really trendy this semester. As if starting a blog wasn't enough, now I have started a webcomic. My trendiness knows no bounds. Check it out if you want.

Click here to be transported into the psyche of Haslam

Bed Head

When I wake up from my sleep
I wish my hairstyle would keep
Because I have
The most supremely
Cool and awesome bed head
Hair going this way
Hair going that way
A glorious tangled mess
Out of all the hairstyles
In the world
Bed head is the best

Elements

Ne is Neon
Be is Beryllium
Ar is Argon
Rb is Rubidium
Hg is Mercury
That doesn’t make sense

O’Malley’s Finale

An arm waves through the air
Its conductor O’Malley
As he strikes up the band
For the huge grand finale
He focuses hard
One thing on his mind
His baton wicked sharp
He could make someone blind
But he doesn’t because
He is a music master
He forges ahead
Urging them to play faster
Trombones, flutes, and cymbals
Trumpets and bassoons
Harmonize together
Music fills up the room
When all of a sudden
The earth starts to rumble
Their balance is lost and
The band starts to tumble
They fall to the floor
Instruments in a jumble
Everyone is fine ‘til
The roof starts to crumble
The band and the crowd
Dash away for their lives
As chunks of the ceiling
Rain down like sharp knives
They fall through the air
At an alarming rate
And conductor O’Malley
Has suffered his fate
He was just to focused
Unable to flee
And his body was crushed
By the falling debris
He let out a scream
That was heard through the valley
A horrible sound
The O’Malley Finale

Rubber Band Guns

Rubber band guns are cool
Me and Randon made a bunch of them
From scraps at Alta’s wood shop
We had to do it secretly
Because we weren’t supposed to making weapons
Woody was cool about it though
We made some pistols
One of them was a pirate pistol
That was the coolest pistol
The coolest one of all was the rifle
It shoots big rubber bands
It can shoot two at a time
For twice the fun!

Flannel Shirts

Flannel shirts are my shirt of choice
Flannel shirts make my torso rejoice

Thinking

Thinking can be good
Thinking can be bad
Some people think about good things
Some people think about bad things
Sometimes it is best to think before you speak
Sometimes it is best to speak before you think
A thought bubble can symbolize thinking
A light bulb can symbolize the result of thinking
Some people think with their eyes looking up
Some people think with their hand on their chin
Some people don’t even think at all
Do Make Say Think is a band
Just because you think something doesn’t mean that it will happen
Just because something happened doesn’t mean you thought about it
It is hard to tell what someone is thinking about unless you ask them
Do you want to know what I think?
I think that this poem should have ended 5 lines ago

Burgundy Suit

A burgundy suit
Is a beautiful thing
Especially if it is paired with
A pink frilly shirt
A white belt
White shoes
And a burgundy bowtie
Whoever wears this outfit
Is automatically
The most attractive person

Presidential Elections

I dislike presidential elections
So much hate
Democrats and Republicans
So many hard feelings
So and so’s first cousin’s friends grandma broke the law once
Too many rumors
Economic crisis
People without jobs
Or houses
$295,515,889 campaign budgets
Seven houses
Ignorance abounds
Straight Party Votes
Buttons
T-shirts
Saturday Night Live skits
(Those are alright)
YouTube videos
Yard signs
Broken voting machines
Democrat Ice Cream
Republican Coffee
Polls
Polls
Polls
Get out of my face
Leave me alone
I’m trying to listen
I’m trying to learn about the issues
I am not a sheep
I won’t walk blindly
Leave me be
To make my choice
To do my duty
And get on with my life

Porch Sitting At Tim's House

We used to sit on Tim’s porch a lot
It was the hip place to be
We would sit there on Mondays
We would sit there on Tuesdays
We would sit there on Wednesdays
We would sit there on Thursdays
We would sit there on Fridays
We would sit there on Saturdays
We would talk of Tim’s various girlfriends
And sometimes we would call them
It was my favorite place to sit